From Black Sheep to Family Historian
Finding healing and connection through genealogy

The thing that interests me most about family history is the gap between the things we think we know about our families and the realities. – Jeremy Hardy

Greetings fellow Family Finders, Kinship Keepers and Story Collectors!

Friends call me MK and I am a self diagnosed insomniac, chronically obsessed with genealogy and sorting through the stories of my ancestors in the middle of the night. Usually.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been on a quest for connection.

Something went awry when I was growing up. Both of my parents grew up with their Mom & Dad. Nice, normal families. No divorce. No ‘trauma’ to speak of. Nice houses. My grandfathers were good providers. All the aunts and uncles were normal, for the most part.

Then there is me. My parents divorced when I was 9 and my mother went on a marrying spree. I lived all over- Churchville MD, Cookesville TN, Dublin MD, Copperas Cove TX, Darlington MD, Hinesville GA and back to Maryland.

In the midst of all of that moving around was a loss of grandparents we weren’t allowed to say goodbye to, abuse, alcoholism and trauma. Straight up, no good, no child should have to live through that trauma. Oh, and 11 schools from 5th-10th grade.

So you could say I was disconnected. This constant change meant I was often alone, making it challenging to form lasting relationships or connections. I was an island.

Childhood adversity has a unique way of forging character. It instilled in me a resilience and a yearning for stability that I created as soon as I was old enough. I chose a good, kind husband and father to my children. Life happened and after 10 years we divorced. But I chose another good, kind man again. We had stability and security. BUT… I was always looking for the connection, the support, the soft place to land. I real am a gypsy soul just trying to find my place in the world.

woman wearing purple glasses smiling
You live as long as you are remembered.  – Russian Proverb
Preserve your memories, keep them well, what you forget you can never retell. – Louisa May Alcott

In between being a wife, mom, a corporate management career and life… I started gathering stories, pictures and anything I could that would tell me who my family really was. This was pre-internet to early internet days. You remember? Hand drawn family trees, dot matrix print outs. It didn’t deter me. I always knew it is more than my immediate family. It had to be, right?

Fast forward to my pre-retirement. We were empty nesters. I sold my business. Moved to Florida. Bought an RV. And I needed a hobby. On a RV trip out west genealogy came front and center again.

I was reminded by my father that his grandfather owned land out there in the early 1920’s. And we were driving right by the area! I got the general location and within an hour I was able to provide Dad with a map of the property, land patents in his grandfather’s name and a Google satellite view showing that 900 acres of ranch land in 1920, was still ranchland. And we took a drive past it… it was like I could feel my great granddaddy standing there tending his sheep. That was fun! I ‘met’ my great grandfather during that quick research frenzy and I knew I wanted to ‘meet’ more of my ancestors.

Since then I have immersed myself in the pursuit of my family’s unique history. Some folks think it’s a weird hobby but it is healing. It has provided a bridge, mending the fragments of my past and offering a deeper understanding of the great big, broad family tree full of survivors, famers, soldiers, widows, orphans, settlers and more. I am just a teeny tiny leaf in a very full family legacy.

Each name I uncover, each story I unravel, strengthens my drive to ensure that our ancestors are never forgotten. Their tales of resilience, love, and endurance deserve to be shared and celebrated. I feel so strongly that genealogy can inspire us, bring healing and connection in a disconnected, and broken world.

It is said that we die twice: first when our souls depart our earthly bodies, and second when our names are uttered for the last time. My aspiration is to breathe life into the stories of our ancestors, speak their names with reverence and ideally foster a connection with between them and our younger generations so they will carry on our family stories and speaking the names of our people.

Now, with over two decades of self-taught experience I have decided to get my professional certification. I’m committed to upholding the highest standards of genealogical research. My mission is not only to rediscover and honor our ancestors but also to inspire and guide others on their journey of family history discovery.

I am grateful to have you along for the ride. I am always open to feedback and questions. I am not too proud to dig into the answers I don’t know so we can both find the answers we need.

Happy hunting!
MaryK
maryk@geneaologyafterhours.com